Power to the People

Thirteen days after the conspiratorial powers of ice, wood and gravity took by force the freedom of half our citizens, it appears that democracy has been restored. In the darkest days, hope seemed forever lost, as long lines at the Dunkin' Donuts would attest. Caffeine-deprived adults and children sat bewildered in their cars watching Sponge Bob DVDs while those with power continued playing Rock Band on their video gaming devices while their DVRs obediently recorded the Patriot's game for playback later. The resourceful purchased miles of extension cords which they surreptitiously plugged into the outlets of unsuspecting "power hogs" in neighboring towns. As the days wore on, the desperate began to burn their own houses in a primitive display of residential cannibalism rarely seen in Western cultures.

Our family lived, though not without its permanent scars. We traded our youngest child to an apple orchard in exchange for hot cider. Moments later, perhaps as a sign of Divine irony, our power was restored. We are now working with Customs officials to see if we can buy our little apple picker back at a reasonable price before the post-holiday sales.